The Murray Files

Discussing Andy Murray's quest for a grand slam title.

Archive for February 2011

Oscars 2011

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Well done to Natalie Portman, she beat the odds and took home the oscar.

Well done to the Kings Speech, it beat the odds and took home the oscar.

Well done Colin Firth, he beat the odds and took home the oscar.

Sometimes I wish these Oscar Ceremonies would just be a bit more predictable, I don’t know if I can handle the constant surprises and shocks they through up each year.


Interview with Natalie Portman

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I was in Star Wars you know

I caught up with Natalie Portman ahead of this years Oscars to discuss everything from the Oscars to her views on Tennis.

As many of you will know, Natalie Portman is a Challenger level tennis player, and had she not pursued a career in acting, she could have made quite an impact on the pro tour.

We met in the Elephants Graveyard Surf & Turf restaurant on Mulholland Drive. I got there promptly, but Natalie was 40 minutes late, meaning I’d had 3 pints of beer during my wait.  No matter, I was a professional, so I carried on with the interview.

So Natalie, up for an oscar for Black Swan, how do you rate your chances?

Well it’s just an honour to be nominated really.  The real winners are the viewing public.

So you think Inception is going to win too?

Well, I’m not saying that.  I think we all have a great chance.

Sure you do.  How do you react to criticism  that this is the first great film you’ve made since V for Vendetta?

I haven’t heard anyone say that before.  But it’s all about personal opinions.

What are you doing later today?

Well, I’m going to get my dress fitted.  It’s a really beautiful creation, and I can’t wait to try it on.

Oh, I was just wondering if you were free to maybe go for a drink.  I hear there’s this great restaurant called Bobby Breakfast and Scran, that does authentic Scottish dishes.

That’s a lovely offer, but like I say, I’ve got the dress fitting.

So, Natalie Portman the actress, Natalie Portman the entertainer, Natalie Portman the Pretty Woman, Natalie Portman the Star Wars Actor, Natlie Portman from Black Swan, the question I have for you is, who is the real Natalie Portman?

I’m just an average Girl, who wants to do well in this world.

They do Haggis this restaurant.  Not real Haggis, but vegetarian Haggis. Anyway, who is your favourite Tennis Player?

Easy, Roger Federer

At this point I terminated the interview.  Natalie Portman was good In Leon, V for Vendetta and Star Wars the Phantom Menace.  But clearly hollywood has changed her.  If she’d just stuck at the tennis, then who knows, she could have been a true great.  Well, all the best for the black swan I guess. Although wouldn’t it be nice if Toy Story 3 won, just for something different?

Interview with Sookie Stackhouse

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I caught up with the beautiful Anna Paquin over lunch at the 9 Monkey bar and grill in Princess Street Edinburgh.

Anna ordered a steak, two whiskey’s, a brownie with ice cream and I had a ice tea (I was paying).

So Sookie, you’ve had a great couple of years.

The names Anna.


Sookie is the name of my character.  My name is Anna.

Right, so, Anna You’ve had a great couple of years

Yeah it’s really been amazing…



Why do you like Vampires?

Again, that’s my character, not me.

So you don’t like Vampires?

You do know that Vampires aren’t real, yeah?

I like Vampires.  They’re cool.

Ok, didn’t you want to talk to me about tennis?

Yeah, sure, who’s the greatest tennis player of all time?

Easy, Roger Federer.

What about the greatest film?

Easy, Wizard of Oz

And the greatest song?

Bulls on Parade

Wrong Sookie, wrong, wrong, wrong.

The best tennis player is Andy Murray, The best film ever is Twelve Monkeys and the best song ever is Tonight, Tonight by the Smashing pumpkins.

You’re a creep, I can’t believe a flew all the way from New York for this.

At this point I terminated the interview.  It’s clear that whilst Sookie Stackhouse may have once had a gift, she has clearly lost it now. £50.00 for an ice tea!

Here are the real vampires.  What can’t speak, can’t lie:

Interview with Roger Federer

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I caught up with Roger Federer over lunch at the two point cafe just outside of Brussels.

As regular readers of this blog will know, Federer and I don’t always see eye to eye.  He seems to think  that he’s the best player in the world, whereas I’m of the opinion that he’s the most overrated, lucky player of all time.

Federer dove straight in with a deep fried mars bar, and I got myself a health shake.

So Fed, planning to retire soon?


Why not?

Because I am perfect


That’s what I said.

Well, at this point I terminated the interview.  I covered his cab fair, and finished my health shake.  Brussels is a nice city, but now it will always remind me of this bad interview.

Thanks a lot Roger.

Bush are the best band of the 90's, fact.

British Tennis set for new golden era?

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I caught up with legendary Falkirk based tennis player Jean Michael de la Rossi, or JR to his friends.

We meet in a small brasserie, the type that are quite common place in a town that is quickly garnering a reputation for having the best eateries in the central belt of Scotland.

JR ordered a bagel and black coffee and I had a green tea and a scone.  After a few minutes watching Falkirk go by, we got onto the subject of British Tennis:

So JR, who do you think will be the next British player to win a grand slam?

If I had to put money on it now, I would probably go for Heather Watson.

Interesting, what about Andy Murray, he’s made three finals now, surely you’d have to say that he has the best chance of winning a slam, ahead of this junior player?


Jr, I’m not sure I like your tone.  I think Andy Murray deserves your respect.

I speak the truth

At this point I ended the interview.  JR was once highly respected, and anyone who has won 12 challenger events deserves to be listened to.  But the man has clearly been living the high life a little too long in sunny Falkirk, and has quite frankly lost touch with reality.

So, as we know, Andy Murray will be the next grand slam winner, fact.

Heather Watson progresses to third round of Memphis

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Excellent result for Watson.

She’s starting to pull off some great results, I predict that she will be a top 100 player before wimbledon.

And who knows maybe she’ll have a great run in Wimbledon, last 16 perhaps?

Well, it could happen.  We’ll just have to wait and see.

But everyone, all together now…

Well done Heather Watson.

You are good at tennis.

Woo hoo.

Tennis explained

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How to win at tennis.

Hit the ball so hard that your opponent can’t hit it back.


Written by The Murray Files

12/02/2011 at 11:59 pm

Posted in Uncategorized