Interview with Yasmine Bleeth

I live watching the bay

Yasmine Bleeth’s acting craft is world renowned. Her performances on show’s such as “Baywatch”, “The Lake”, “Heaven or Vegas”, “Undercover Angel” and “Maximum Surge” show an actor of such guile, craft and wonderment, that it beggars believe that she hasn’t been nominated for an oscar.

Yasmine can speak French as well as English, so I thought it would be fun to do the interview in an authentic French setting. To that end I arranged to meet Yasmine at the “Duck baguette Go Go bar” in Falkirk’s lower west side.  The prices are steep at £200 a head, but for my money their escargot is the best in Scotland’s central belt.

The strippers in the bar are also a nice fringe benefit.

Yasmine called from her hotel to say she was running rate, so I ordered my self a round of leffe beers.  You know what they say, when in Falkirk…

Yasmine trundled in 12 minutes late. I’m getting tired of these celebrities and their egos

Hey Yasmine. Love baywatch

Thanks, it was a privilege to be involved in such a great show. Great writing.

Mmm.

How have you been?  The last time I saw you, you were producing that film in vegas about the zombie strippers…

So, Yasmine, I’ve done a few drawings

Oh, right

Yeah, I wondered if you’d have a look at them, I know you’re an art collector

Sure, what have you drawn.

Well, this was after a few beers, so stay with me here

Ok

I stopped the interview to head out to my car to fetch my portfolio. Yasmine’s opinion means a lot to me. Her validation could be the break I’m looking for to get into tate.

I’ve drawn a pork pie being eaten by a badger

I see that.

Well, what do you think?

What was your motivation?

Badgers.

Right.

And pies, I like pies.

Ok. What’s the theme.

Remorse.

Remorse over what?

Remorse over the badger I killed.

I don’t like it.

At this point I terminated the interview. Yasmine may like to watch the bay, but if she can’t see that my badger and pork pie painting is a masterpiece, then she no longer deserves my friendship.

Au revoir Yasmine bleeth.

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