The Murray Files

Discussing Andy Murray's quest for a grand slam title.

Invention hour

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Last night on my popular radio programme, “Innovating for the future”, I discussed the possibility of building a spaceship with a warp drive.

My guest on the show was Honey Miniver, she’s a model and actress from Falkirk, but she told me she got a C in physics in school, so I invited her on to lend her expertise.

I’m not here to apologise again for last night, it happened, both Honey and I are sorry.  If we’d known the microphone had still been turned on then… anyway, never mind I don’t want to talk about that anymore.

Back to the warp drive.

Here’s the equation for my idea:

x = Mc2 // + two hamsters, 1 goat, four candles, and 1 game of mariokart

It’s complex stuff, I don’t expect any you normal people,idiots, uneducated, unschooled, not-that-bright people, the average murray file reader in other words, no offense, to understand this concept.  All you have to understand is that my spaceship idea is awesome.

It will only take 24 years to build and when complete, it will be able to travel to Alpha Centuri in under 10 minutes.

Don’t take my word for it; remember Honey’s words from the show last night:

“Yes, Yes, Yes, Yes, oh you’re amazing”

Well, that certainly is high praise. But it’s no less than I deserve.  I might be the greatest person in Scotland’s central belt.

Who I am kidding?

There’s no ‘might’ about it.

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Written by The Murray Files

13/08/2011 at 12:59 pm

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