The Murray Files

Discussing Andy Murray's quest for a grand slam title.

Interview with Olivia Wilde

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I was talking to Isobel hornswaggle, the legendary producer responsible for the short lived reality TV show “From Strippers to cops”.  She was telling me that she saw Olivia Wilde recently on the set of her Movie, “Get away from my monkey punk” and that Olivia had expressed a desire for me to interview her.

I want lie to you, Olivia is on my celebrity list, so the chance to swap stories with her was one I couldn’t turn down.  I instructed Isobel to set up the “meet” and I headed into Falkirk city centre’s west side to get myself fitted for a custom tux and a new pair of shoes.

I popped in to Gina’s Suit’s and Slippers Emporium and was given the star treatment.  It truly is a 6 star shopping experience.  On entry, a beautyqueen called Glenda takes your coat and offers you a glass of wine, which I took.  I was seated by work experience student Belinda, and had my feet massaged for two hours.  It was then off to suit fitting.  It took under 2 hours for the fitting.  They even played my favouite song, on repeat, “shake that boogey” by “Gold fluff and the wondermuff”.

Feeling suitably done-up and a little tipsy, I proceeded to the restaurant.

Olivia called to say that she was running late, so I went to the bar and ordered a tray of shots, tequilla, and brought them over the table.

The next day I woke up in a hotel room.  I didn’t really remember how I got there.  Voicemail from Olivia, I’m not sure if I met her or not last night.

Maybe we had a great time? Maybe we didn’t.

Anything is possible… in Falkirk


Written by The Murray Files

14/10/2011 at 8:44 pm

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